goodby, mr. s.
♥03062008-03012009♥

"baby, forever is too short. thank you for everything. ily,still."
That Lady



musfira , fourteen
i love my cicles of friends
admiralty secondary school

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Monday, September 29, 2008

its been a long time since i've updated. my last update was on th 15 sept right?
so much things happen in such a short period of time. so much things to tell.
Firstly, nisa and i are back to normal and i just can't wait for raya lah siol! :D

secondly, things had really went wrong between me and satria the past few days.
we quarrel about some stuffs that really break my heart and had some misunderstandings
with one another. but, we are fine now although im abit upset. but, whatever happens,
i wont ask for a break up cause i know i cant go on without him. eventhough i just started
to have th feeling of love towards him, but when i love someone,i'll love them with all my
heart. anyway, i gave him this long msg last night cause i cant stop thinking abt it. & i
hope tht msg will make him realise how far we both drifted apart.

Satria,
i know this morning when we walked to school, i didnt talk much. its nt that im
mad at you. but i was only trying to hold back my tears.
if i've not send that long msg, would you want to pick me up?
just to let you know, i cant bear to lose you, actually.

at

Monday, September 15, 2008

helo there . today nothing much to write about . yesterday didnt talk to satria for one whole day . and i dont feel worried either . i tried to call him but he off his phone . i cant do anything much .
today woke up 'sahor' at 5am , so early . and reach school at 6.55++ . they still didnt talk to me . what more can i do ? be patient ? yeah . atleast i tried to tell the truth .
today morning duty was short and sweet . went back to class then lesson like per normal . mr mike scolded alif for being absent from cca last fri . me , danish and joan was laughing at him . mr andy came for his geography lesson . he told the class that ms huang has nominated some of us to the overseas trip but he couldnt tell who . im not interested in that . english lesson was boring and fussy like per normal since miss ruth replaced miss calmela . most of the class didnt do summary . so danish , rafiq , alif copied my work . wiza , sarah , hafeez didnt finish up so they cant go recess . so , i lend them my book but miss ruth caught them copying . so , she took my book and i help them to underline some points . since i had nothing to do , i left for my recess duty . after that , was science class and . . I SWEAR , I HATE THAT MR HIDER !! his face like some kid abuser , he shouted at tfeng qing and i could feel that there's echo . and i was just sitting with the minah tonchets at the back of the class , when he scream and said : "if i see you four girls talking again , im going to split you all!" hello , we did NOTHING okay ! i want miss wong back uh . not fair , not fair , not fair ! -.- wah piang eh . mother tongue class, mr azri came in late and syakila was bullying me . she took my whiteboard marker and drew at my face so i tried to avoid and ran around the class like retarded . and i pushed everyone everyone who was blocking my way . everyone was looking at us . then mr mok was walking pass my class , luckily somone noticed and i quickly grabbed a sit . imagine if he saw me , SC , running around the class ? omg , what would happen next ? expelled ? hooray ! then maths class , mr mike go through some questions then i fell asleep all the way until end of class . can you believe it ? he didnt realise at all . haha . after class , i went home with iifah and shiqah . then took a bath and bla bla bla . reen called me to lepak at mcd but i had some stuffs to do . then later , sat called me . played comp from 3 all the way to now . put up a new skin for my blog . fika sent me a comment . now i know why they broke up . hais . and today no terawih or ngaji . ): cant wait for 'buke' . what do we have for today ? hmm .
i could see tears in your eyes even when you're not crying .
i know you're suffering .
but what more can i do ?
im somebody's .

at

Sunday, September 14, 2008

yeah , today quite boring . did nothing much . last night sleep so late at 1.30pm bcos sat force me to sleep . talk to him at the phone for less than 15 mins . i could really see that we dont get along this few days . and i dont know why my feelings towards him seems so different this few days . i dont know why but it seems that i dont care about him anymore . our talks are like more boring . he talks less and i just kept mum . does that mean my love start to fade for him ? but how come ? argh , never mind . as long as i can love him , i'll love him . but seriously lah seyy . i feel like running away from him . he seems like dont care about me (?) and later when i call him late at night , he says he want to sleep and bla bla bla . maybe i think too much . yeah ?













nisa , aku tak kate kau tk blh temankan hid . tapi ade satu kali ni yang btol btol buat aku terkilan . kau mkn recess pat satu corner beh lpas mkn kau jln dgn hid . bkn sebab kau tk layan aku , tapi fie sendiri complaint pat aku kau maken rapat dgn hid .

dan mmg kau ade lepak pat mcd , tapi sebab kte lepak pat mcd lah kte maken tk rapat . sbb bnyk org sangat . kau layan org laen , dan aku layan org laen walaupon ade mase mase nye kte bbual .

mmg last fri aku perasan korg , tapi aku tk sanggop tgk care korg buat dek dgn aku sbb pagi pagi tuh korg dh tunjok attitude dan ia dh cukop menyaketkan hati .

aku tau kau tak lepak dgn dgn sarah sume sbb kau tk rapat dgn dorg tapi aku kan ade . bukan aku suroh kau lepak dgn sarah dgn wiza sorang je .

dan bkn sbb kteorg sengaje tknk jumpe pat pondok tapi kau tgk keadaan mase tuh . fie tinggal marsiling beh kau tknk jmpe pondok beh reen kate leceh die nk patah balek dr rumah gy pondok beh patah balek gy skolah . jadi tinggal aku je .

aku mmg pegi dgn wiza dgn sarah tapi aku tk pegi cam tuh je . aku tunggu korg pat HOD . monday tuh kte lepak same same pe dgn fanact fam . cume tue dgn wed tuh je sbb reen , fie sume ade remedial beh kau nk balek . beh on thu tuh , aku tanye kau nk gy mane kau jln gytu je . and aku baru strt gy skolah dgn sat last wed .

recess pulak , on mon aku ade duty . tue aku carik kau sbb aku tk tau kau pat ne beh aku tk jumpe kau , aku dudok dgn iffah . lpas recess aku lupe tanye shiqah korg dudok pat mane sbb aku bkn bbual dgn die sangat . wed , aku ade duty lagi . thu , aku teman sarah , sbb wiza tk dtg skolah , gy carik kwn die nk bbual psl dance . lpas tuh kte gy toilet , aku gy bukak rambot ikat balek , bukak , ikat balek beh tinggal brape minit je then dh bell ring . fri tuh , aku nmpk korg pat luar class tapi aku tk pegy pat korg sbb aku tau korg confirm tunjok attitude mcm ape korg buat pagi tuh .

ye , semua org kate aku dh berubah . tapi dorg tak tau cerita die . dan aku harap penjelasan ni dh cukop utk kau mengerti . bkn sengaje aku nk ke tepi kan korg cam tuh je .

aku bkn malaikat , aku pon buat kesalahan . tk sempurna , dan tk blh sempurna . dan aku ingin yang burok menjadi pengajaran , yang baek menjadi teladan .

dan aku nk korg tau , aku tk sanggop kehilangan kwn mcm korg . (:






i play the same song over and over again cos it reminds me of you .

at

Saturday, September 13, 2008

so today went to queenstown and take our jersey . yeah , its cool . its green and i love my name the most . then went to buke puase at rumah cik is . and just got to know that fika isnt with **** anymore . she told me herself and ya , well . i cant do anything . enough , i promise not to write about him anymore . by the way , talking about fika , i miss all my friends from naval base . emi , ami , anna , nas , salihin . hha . when can we meet again and spent time together ? i miss primary school .




nisa , you never know what i went through .
not only you that suffer in the inside .
me too .
bukan aku tk perasan kite maken jaoh .
sememangnye dari dulu lagi .
sejak fie gadoh dgn hid ,
and kau teman kn hid .
bile hid dgn fie dh baek baek pon ,
aku tk rase kte rapat mcam lagi .
to be honest , aku rindu saat saat bersame .
ingat tk ble sec 1 dulu ?
ble pegy sekolah , kite pegy same same .
ble recess kite makan same same .
ble balek lepak same same .
but start to things changed .
bukan aku nk ungket ungket .
tapi sejak kau makin rapat dgn hid dulu ,
aku rase kte maken jaoh .
dan aku rase kecewa .
tapi aku takot nak luahkan semua nye .
takot kau kecik hati .
dan dalam tempoh tuh ,
aku menjadi rapat dgn reen .
aku rase yang kite tak seperti dulu .
mase mase yang kite luangkan tak semesra dulu .
dan sejak kite masok mcd fam ,
things changed from bad to worst .
kau selalu balek dgn efa dan aku pulak asyik dgn sarah .
dan kau baru skrg rasekan yang hubungan kite ni renggang ?
masalah ni bukan pasal sat atau pon sarah dgn weeza .
tapi sebab masalah yang terjadi berape bulan lalu ,
yang membuat kite semakin menjaoh dan teros menjaoh .
dan dalam sengketa ini , aku tak tahu ape salah aku .
ingat tak dalam toilet tuh ari ble ade aku , kau , sarah , wiza dgn hid ?
aku sedeh bile kau tak nak lepak .
padahal , kau blh lepak .
tapi kau kate kau lapar .
aku tknk pakse .
on wednesday pon same .
aku tk penah lupe kau , reen , fie , hid , syu , irah .
tapi sebab kte laen class yg buat kte berjaohan .
aku maken rapat dgn wiza , sarah , fina bukan sbb
aku dh jadi one of the sweetbelos .
tapi sbb kte buat project same same ,
kte p.e time same same ,
slack pat class same same .
and as a classmate kte ade class bonding
and that makes us get close even more .
recess time , bkn aku tknk pegy dgn korg .
tapi aku ade duty , beh korg lepak pat belakang class korg .
aku dgn sarah pegy toilet ,
lepas tuh kte carik korg pat bwh tapi tkde .
lepas aku tk jumpe korg , aku dudok dgn iifah pat canteen .
ble last friday , pagy pagy korg tunjok attitude
aku try utk sabar walaupon hati aku btol btol saket .
bukan aku tk perasan korg marah cume aku tknk tunjok pat korg .
sbb aku tk nmpk ape salah aku .
aku tk rase aku bersalah .
tk adil korg judge aku mcm gini .
tanpe mendgr cerita aku dulu .
dan bkn aku tknk mintak maaf pat korg ,
tapi adil ke kalau aku mengalah ?
mengalah utk selamatkn persahabatan kte , aku tk kesah .
tapi mengalah tanpe menyedari kesalahan satu same laen ,
tentu tk adil .
sbb aku rase dalam masalah ini ,
due due salah kte .
tapi seandainye kau mengerti , nisa . .
*please dont go cos you meant alot to me .*

at

Saturday, September 6, 2008

well , last wed was my 3rd month with satria . and i told him everything . and as days goes by , my love for him blooms even more . i want to love him as much as he loves me . the past 3 months , had been beautiful eventhough i didnt have feeling for him at the first place . but then , as this relationship goes longer day by day , i start to treasure him . i must move on and at the same time give him a chance .

the first time i wanted to tell satria the truth , i was shy . i dont know how to tell him . then i asked him to hear the song by 'spoon - sepenuh hati' . and he understand what im trying to tell . and i promise nvr to let him go .

yesterday talked to satria at the phone until 12 then sms all the way until 1 plus . then i felt sleepy so when to sleep . just now morning , i checked my sms and satria send 3 smses . bcos last night my phone battery empty and i was lazy to charged . the msges was so sweet , man .

satria . i promise to love you as long as i can , okay ?

anisah was hospitalised for overdosed , taking 20 pills of panadol and i know it must be bcos of that USELESS GUY ! anis , pls dont do this anymore . i love you . everyone do . your parents , granny , your siblings . if he dont love you , then let him be . like you told me to move on . and yes , whatever you guys go through together ; thicks and thins , just put it a side and forget him . remember when i broke up with that guy , you the one who said i must move on eventhough memories are not meant to be forget . remember ? please anisah , think before you do something . think the feelings of people that love you . if you're gone , with who would want to laugh with ? with whom i want to share our top secrets ?




love is always patient and kind .
it is never jealous .
love is never boastful or conceited .
it is never rude or selfish .
it does not take offence
and it not resentful .
love takes no pleasure
in other people's sin .
but delights in the truth .
it is always ready to excuse ,
to trust , to hope and
to ensure whatever comes .

at

Monday, September 1, 2008

ouh well , such a long time i have not update my blog . and i miss it . heh . what do i have ? hmm .
280808 .
this date only reminds me of one thing . the day he took away my smile and my heart broke into a thousand pieces . so , what ? i've get over him . eventhough , sometimes it hurts to remember or miss him . especially the times he said he love me . argh , whatever . crapshit .
it was miss calmela's last day of school today and tomorrow is teachers' day . the class and mr andy force miss calmela to come the next day . and she agreed . so , i bought all the stuffs to decorate class for teachers' day . cake , snacks all done . only to put up the ball0ons and stuff . so , i stayed back after english remedial . alif , rafiq , rahman , danish , azizul and some other boys help me out . i and joan went to woodlands mart to buy the wrapping paper and stuff as it was not enough . after decorating the class , i and joan went to woodlands mart again to print out the class photo to paste on the card for miss calmela . after that , i went home straight .
290808
woke up early at 5am . bath and had breakfast . mum was cooking fried rice for me to bring to school for party later . maisarah bringing mee goreng and afiq bringing mee siam goreng . met sarah , weeza and alif and the carpark near school and met joan on the way . yasir and the rest has not reach school so i told joan to take the key . later , classmates come . the bell rang and i rush to the gate - got duty mah . after duty , assemble to class and we went for the aces walk thingy thing . then went back to class . yasir and alif was making the syrup then it spilt . i and hafeez rushed to find a mop bcos we were afraid , miss calmela would just come at any moment . luckily , i found a mop at the girls toilet , first floor near dnt room .we had prepared everything and the lights was off . everybody surrounded the entrance door and holding a popper . then , miss calmela came with miss huang and mr andy .
we ate and cut the cake . it was delicious , man . mmmmm . . later , nazri showed the video . it was pictures from sec 1 all the way to sec 2 . i can take it anymore and just put my head at maisarah lap and cry . after the video , i asked maisarah to take a picture with me and miss calmela . that was went i hug teacher and cried all i want . i will miss her , i know . she said something to me but i didnt really hear cos i was fucking sad okay . some of the class was like laughing at me especially people like rahman , some join me in and cried hidely , some just eat and eat . haha . and rafiq was like -- "ehk , fira . relax lah ."
okay , fast forward .
after school , went mcd . family mcd dah tutop . now , i dont know what wan is going to do . he is probably going to find a new name and throw people he doesnt like . pfft . leceh sak gyni . satu satu nk buat perangai . family dgn family pon nk gadoh . after the meeting , i went smbwg pri . met no one . lalalala .
around 2.30pm , went home and siap siap to meet tutik . we plan to go queensway shopping centre and do that discipline commitee jersey . it was fabulous . i cant wait ! haha .
300808
nothing much ; bought a new LCD tv .
310808
went to geylang at night . shopping here and there . so , this year theme colour is yellow and white . my favourite colour - yellow . and satria's favourite colour - white . bought that bag i wanted and two dress ! yes yes yes . at last . now , only left for new skinnies and blue cardigen and that flat black shoes . hehe .
and i want to confess something and i must say this : i start to LOVE him . <3
i know im not dreaming or lying .
i do love him and i'll learn to love him even more ;
SATRIA .

at