goodby, mr. s.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

halohalo!

hee . okok .

here's my post for today .

i want to tell about

this guy named afiq .

he keep smsing me .

dont know who the hack he is .

whenever i

ask anything bout him ,

he will tend to change topic .

but i did reply him .

i want to know who is this guy .

cause he said he once like me .

too late , im taken .

bleahh .

ermm then on monday , got a hug from amin .

and yesterday also got a hug from him .

haha ( suke laa tuh ) .

yesterday im so happy .

after sending nisa at the bustop ,

i saw emi , anna and ami .

i hug emi sooo tight .

i miss her like bloody shit .

got kisses from ami and anna .

haha . (:

just now , went home with amin .

took the same bus with shazwan and friends .

he such a bloody fool .

his head got hit at the bus 'rooftop'

or whatever the name is .

i and wiza laugh so hard .

my stomach aches .

selenger nye wan , two , three .

serve him right .

then went to hang out at mcd.

nisa ask me to call hafiz .

she wants a break up .

so i called and his mum picked up the phone .

i said to hafiz ,

"ermm . are you free now ?"

hafiz:"no , im going out with my parent ."

me:"cn talk at the phone for awhile ?"

hafiz:"ckp ar ."

me:"u sure want to hear it ?"

hafiz:"hmm ."

me:"ermm . hanisah .."

and i paused . .

"hanisah wants to break up ."

hafiz hang up the phone .

then nisa cried .

i think she regret it .

hmm .

too late honey .

then fie asked me ,

"fira , camne kau leh last long dgn amin ar ?"

i smiled .

fie and mamat's relationship also 'tonggang-terbalek' .

deep inside my heart ,

im saying that ,

"its bcoz we love each other .

no special reason ."

at 4:37 AM

Sunday, April 27, 2008

i've been listening to this song for hours and hours for the past few days .
listen the song at my media box and read the lyrics .
its so touching man .
to ppl out there , keep on waiting for your true love and later you find out
you'll nvr regret .

[Verse 1]
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you &
I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
[Bridge]
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do
I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]
It's been a long time since you called me(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
[Bridge]
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
[Bridge]
So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

at 3:43 AM

weii . alright . firstly , amin's mood like normal ready . he hv fix his mood and im happy like before . hidayah , we're in good terms with her . but there's still some things we arent ok yet but better to hv something than nothing . hanisah hvnt break up with hafiz yet cause she realised she love him so the damn much . but she hv a crush towerds somone . something im glad to hear . at least she is trying her best to get over her sorrows . she hv smiled like hw she used to and that cheer me up soo much ! this week is the best . spend the whole week with amin . hee . then i , efa and nisa played the funny , dangerous game . we call it charlie's angel (lame) . hhhaaaaaha . we almost knocked on a car when playing it . it's basically , we tuck our hands side by side and walk like some retarded girls . reen , is simply crazy . so much crazy . desperate for boyfriend i think . or maybe she miss hilman's kisses . friday was english and mt paper 1 - easy like chicken feet . the compo title was interesting . i chose the title ' disappointed by someone you love ' for english and ' a tragic disaster ' for malay . wednesday is maths paper 1 . conferm fail laa . miss sienny teach like shit . one thing also i dont know . give up with maths ready laa . i dont give a damn . hmpph . and im looking forwerd fr my 9 mthsary ; 2 weeks to go ! ((:

at 2:56 AM

Sunday, April 20, 2008

hmm . this few days , many things when wrong .

amin always in his bad mood . ):

and yesterday , i found out from naqib that

miss huang has called amin's dad .

maybe ms huang went to complained something .

then afta that maybe amin's dad scold him or something

that make him so farked up .

and im afraid that we might quarrell if i talk to him ,

so i decided nt to disturb him fr this few days .

and yesterday was irah's birthday party .

then hid buat hal pulak .

die kate die tk tau langsong psl party tuh .

padahal , nisah dgn syu dh bilang seyy .

asl die nk twist the whole story ?

abe die ckp kalau nk , blh just end our friendship here

sebab takot nnt tk leh tahan dgn perangai die yg semakin berubah .

why is everything falling apart ?

what when wrong this few weeks ?

then , nisah just find out that her bf maen timer .

bustard siol hafiz .

he's just a SWEETALKER .

and i HATE the way he treat my bestie .

i hate this type of guy .

they sux to the core !

i cant stand it seeeing nisah with her tears .

it hurts me ;

SO MUCH .

what hv hanisah done wrong to him ?

fr all this while , nisah hv given all her hart and soul to him .

but is this what nisah deserve back ?

i miss the times we used to laugh together ;

me , nisah , reen , irah , fie , hid and syu .

and i miss the times he used to make me happy ;

amin , my one and only .

and i miss seeing her smile ;

hanisah , my bestest bestie .

p.s : last friday was my 8 mthsary .

dear , let it last . (:

at 2:56 AM

Sunday, April 13, 2008

this pictures are took last thursday when i go to the s'pore flyer .

at 2:32 AM

dedicated to aminudin (:

Until there was you
I walked the earth alone
No hand to hold in mine
My heart was all my own

Until there was you
True love was just a dream
Dreams of wonder and tears
Dreams of hope and fears

Until there was you
My life had no direction
A road of uncertainty
But now we have a journey
Together you and me

So I thank my lucky stars
And God from the heavens above
For my heart and soul could never
Feel the impact of true love
Until there was you...

at 1:02 AM

Sunday, April 6, 2008

i smiled bcoz of u .

so , will i get to smile again ?

or the smile is just fr while ?

and this photos are fr amin's request .

he asked me why didnt i put my pics in blog .

so , this is fr him .

i hope things will get better soon . i've started missing him .

at 2:46 AM

Saturday, April 5, 2008

i had such a terrible week . firstly , i miss my dad . how sux it is . ok , lets forget that part . then , i quarrelled with amin . my close friends seldom read my post and amin said he's not going to care about me anymore , so i think i'll tell everything .

it all started when my friends asked me to follow them to go for science remedial with 2n1 . then , i said im going out to the library with amin . then they answered in a sarcastic way : " go laa . go with amin . that last saturday we want to go cycling with you but you also go hang out with amin . amin only . nevermind then . " then they walk off and left me behind . i felt a little bit hurt , i pretend im ok and laughed . but they never knew ; deep inside , i feel so gulity and unfair cause i was treated that way . that night , i was thinking and kept thinking about it . i felt like as if a part of my world had turned dark . i felt tired thinking about my friends that i got fed-up and had no mood . i dont know how amin spot it . he asked me what's wrong but i kept denying and said im fine . that was when everything went wrong . i felt like telling him about my problem but at the second thought , i dont want him to feel like , " ok . everything is my fault . " he's not even guilty . he doesnt know anything . i dont want him to feel hurt . i rather be the one who feel suffer by all this . but i never knew ; after all that i sacrificed , is this all that i deserved ? well , its ok . everything i do , i do it for you amin . when he became angry and told me its none of his concern , i just shut my eyes close and tears start to roll down . argghhh ! why must i cry ? i hate my weakness . the next day , it was thursday . i didnt sms him cause that night i felt tired . afta i went back from school , i locked myself in the bathroom - crying , AGAIN . i felt my whole world was falling apart . i went to bed early but i cant sleep and kept thinking about amin . just like some mad girl , i threw my pillow : cried the whole night . disastrous . the next day , i wanted to start a fresh . but i was so weak . i told myself to be strong . at school , i laughed when my friends laugh ; i smiled at people back when people smiled at me . but i was just PRETENDING . i just cant stop thinking about the words he said . they were like blades that cut through my heart . damn it ! it was all my bloody shitt fault . in the afternoon , i had to go for cca like per normal . i feel like i was just some kind of a half dead body walking but i tried to forget everything for awhile . when the fact , i just cant . after cca , i went home , took a bath , ate , polish my boots cause i had to go for ncdcc service day on saturday and then i went to bed . i woke up from my sleep around 12 am and checked my phone . but to a great disappointment , he didnt sms me . maybe he was still angry , i thought . its been 2 days . i cant stand all this . it was saturday . i went home after the ncdcc service day . i changed and took a nap . at 4 plus i sms him but he said , " . . just dont disturb me ANYMORE ! " my heart tore into pieces . yes , i cried . cried and cried and cried till my head aches and my eyes start to sore . till this moment : when i publish my post , we're still in bad terms . im afraid of losing him . if only i could turned back time , how i wish . i supposed to give him something this wednesday cause by weeek 5 , i will not be free anymore . its something i promised and he had been waiting for it . but like what it seems , everything's gonna remain . nothing gonnna change by this few days , i guess . and i end up plannning to go and meet emilia on the wednesday . i hope things would get better .

if only you understand what im going through . . i just dont want you to feel guilty . its not your fault . but , you'll never understand . im sorry . im sorry for keeping this from you . i didnt mean to . i was just sacrificing . i just love you ; only you . cause my love for you is true . everything i do , i do it for you honey .

at 11:21 PM