goodby, mr. s.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

dedicated to ; aminudin

when i first saw you , i was scared to talk to you .

when i first talked to you , i was scared to look into your eyes .

when i first looked into your eyes , i was scared to love you .

now that i love you , im scared to lose you .

and now , i've really lose you and my heart is aching . )':

forget him

forget his name

forget his face

forget his kiss

his warm embrace

forget the love that you once knew

remember he has someone new

forget him when they played your song

remember when you cried all night long

forget how close you once were

remember he has chosen her

forget how you memorized his walk

forget the way he used to talk

forget the things he used to say

remember he has gone away

forget his laugh

forget his grin

forget the dimples on his chin

forget the way he held you tight

remember he's with her tonight

forget the the time that went so fast

forget the love that moved , its past

forget he said he leave you never

remember he's gone forever

yours faithfully,

fira

at 11:59 PM

woah ! miss blogging . ok , lets see . lets talk about yesterday . went to meet emilia after her mendaki . its been a long time we have not chit chat . we talk about girls stuff , boys , bitches , cute emo guys and songs . haha . then emi gotta leave . so , i thought of hanging out at mcd . t text efa , fid and reen but all of them cannot go . so , i went home laa . quite bored at home but then sarah was sms-ing me so not that bored uh . satria dont sms me during the days , at night around 8 plus .bleahh . he got sack from ambassador last friday during ambassador photo taking because of his hair . alhamdullilah . hehe . (: kesian mataer aku . he send me home after cca . then i went out back to mcd . met with fidya , fathin , akmal , afiq , hariez and AMIN .

nisa , i just dont get it . last time when amin send me home , you was kinda dont like . but when satria send me , you was happy like that . not only about that . when reen broke up with hilman , you guys can get along so well but when i broke up with amin , you always like to be sarcastic to him . its not that i side amin . but to me , its unfair . whatever it is , he's still my ex .

and i still care for him .

and i still love him .

thats the fact .

i've never love satria .

i've tried to love him but i cant .

love cant be forced .

i know you might not be reading this . but im sorry if it offends you .hilman cume act sygkn reen , tapi bile aku masih dgn amin , amin betol2 sygkn aku tapi nape kau lebih dendam pat amin ?

at 2:50 AM

Monday, June 23, 2008

well , im in school lab now .

got workshop or whatever laa .

satria smiled at me after p.e today .

liyana kinda shouted at him .

"hi je ke pppppeeeee ?"

he just laugh away .

maths lesson , mr mike teach !

hoooooorrray !

guarantee pass maths nye .

si huang tuh , nari pakai baju colour pink .

kecacatan .

i gave miss calmela my journal this morning .

i wrote about him and the memories .

i wish to hear from ms calmela soon .

like usual , got spot check .

then , some of my classmates kena .

must do recess duty for one whole week !

i took care of the waterpoint 1 ,

together with efa who took care at waterpoint 2 .

before i do the recess duty near the phone booth because can see amin .

but then , since we broke up , change place uh .

wahaha .

then geography lesson , mr andy teach .

his lesson was fun .

give 8 stars .

ok , lame .

alright gtg .

teacher starting .

see you soon .

at 11:32 PM

Sunday, June 22, 2008

heyy , heyy .

today at home ,

my uncle came and brought some CDs .

'cuci'(kekek , dok ) and 'anak'(cite hantu tk menjadi) .

made in m'sia .

then ard 3+ nisa came my hse .

then i went out with her to wdls mart .

then weny nisa's hse to do the ncd project .

she game me this winnie the pooh pillow

since she gt back from m'sia .

thanks , babe .

cut rleh , like me .

haha . (:

nah , jk .

then went home .

efa also got .

tomorrow school's start .

lazy uh .

nanti kene tgk muke si die tuh .

and that ngada-ngada nye cikgu .

pfft .

at 4:26 AM

Thursday, June 19, 2008

recently just stead with satria , trying to love him but still cant get amin out of my mind . i just dont get it . aminudin , aminudin . it might be my fault at the first place . but if only you would have forgive me then , things would go smoother now . and maybe its fated ya ? at the same time when our relationship is on the rocks , another girl came to your life . i've never hated you or hold a grudge towards that girl but i still remember what sarah told me ; if you really love me you would have forgive me or at least not to go for that girl . sarah was right . i wonder if for that past 9 months , you did really love me . how come is it so easy for you to just dumped all our memories just like that ? those memories is too painful for me to just forget them . they were too wonderful although it was tough for me at the very end . yesterday should be our 10 monthsary but now , its just a simple day. when it turns 18 , i'll remember of you but i know i dont have the right to love you cos you're someone's . ouh , damn it ! you should be buried with the memories and all . fyi , i miss you . and i hate to miss you .

at 3:38 AM

Friday, June 13, 2008

everything has ended , and it will never start again . you're with someone now . i hope you'll last long with her . seeing you happy is enough to make me happy too . when you ask for break , i was happy . happy to know that i would be free against the sufferings from the time you didnt reply my messages then it hurt me . but deep down my heart , it was fucking painful . i felt like crying , but i cant . all i did was laughing . laughing at myself for being too stupid to love you for the past 9 months without stopping . im totally hurt but im not naive . i know im strong . i can never describe how i feel to lose you for the second time . its so unfair for me . you keep on toying my feelings - what do you think i am , a soft toy ? and i keep on crying for you - ouh , this is not a free show for me . but still , until today , my love for you never fade . but do you think its fair for me ? you make me fall deeply for you , but then you left and chose to go with her . how could you ? i go around and tell people that i've get over you but the fact is NO ! im actually torturing myself . everytime i think about you , i will force myself to think some other things . its hard for me to forget you because each time i managed to forget you , the more memories would come and haunt me . so , tell me how would i want to forget you ? all my love ang sacrifices are wasted . you said you loved me , but why did you leave me ? you promise me this and that , but why did you broke it ? well , maybe this is just my fate . what god has planned for us is unpredictable . i know you're happy with her and i hope she'll never hurt your feelings . amin , thanks for the wonderful memories , you left for me .

memories of firamin ; 180807-280508

it will stay .

when i first met you , i thought 'what a nerd' .

when i started to know you , i began to fall for you .

when we became closer , i started to care .

when we became lovers , i couldnt imagine life without you here .

when we broke up , you broke my heart .

when we tried again , i saw it as a new start .

when you broke my heart for the second time , i realised you were never mine .

and now im lying here , trying to heal my heart and forget the memories .

at 12:54 AM