ok , well today is my 2nd mthsary with satria . how fast time flies , yeah ? to be honest , im scared to love sat cos i dont want to get hurt again . im scared if one day , im able to forget amin and tend to fall for him but in the end he left me . ya , nothing last forever but im sick of tears . ermm , its hard to explain cos only my heart knows how it really feel . all i can say is , i still love amin and at the same time i begin to like satria . and i want to let this feelings for this 2 guys stay like this . when the time comes , it will cure the wound that amin serve to me . and the feeling of love for satria will not be more neither would it be less .
last night , i talk to him on the phone from 1opm to 12am . we talk about our pastime . and telling satria my story with amin , remembering the memories from the start to the end is the most painful . and when its 12am , he wish me 2mthsary and he said he love me . sweet right ? but too bad , i didnt melted . bcos deep down my heart , i just wish it was HIM who said that to me . but well , its ok . im happy with satria at least .
amin , if only you know how hurt this could be . fyi , i accepted satria because of YOU ! i thought of accepting him so that i can forget you . eventhough i know he have hurt a lot of my friend's heart . now , i dont have the heart to ask him for a break up bcos he has been kind to me . and its like , the stories people told me wasnt true . i think he's really gonna change . but at the same time , im yearing for your return . in my heart , there's only you . but why did you do this to me ? im so disappointed with you . i gave everything that you wanted . i would even give you the earth right in your palm if you want to . but you hurt me AGAIN . just becos of a petty little issue . i know your heart still beats for me . i miss you and this suffering will end if i know you miss me too . aku tau aku shiok sendiri , SO WHAT ?! i dont care . i didnt ask for all this to happened . argh ! i just want to move on and being like this isnt gonna work out . amin , you're my history . so please go away .
pergilah , sayang .
jangan kembali lagi .
satria , im sorry i cant love you . i dont want and im scared to fall in love anymore . i dont believe in love since 280508 , since firamin has gone . but i appreciate being with you . you made me laugh , made me happy . i know i told you that this feeling of like can turn into love , but i lied to you . im not sure if i can love you . actually i just dont want , dont want to bet around with my own feelings . i dont want to hurt you . i know how it feels when you love someone but to find out that someone only likes you . im sorry . but still i want this relationship to last . let people know that i didnt choose the wrong person to replace amin . and prove to people that they were wrong about you .
sayang , ku masih mencintaimu .
katakan lah kau jua mencintaiku .
sayang , ku merinduimu .
seksa rindu ini akan menjadi indah
andai ku tahu kau juga mencintaiku .
kasih , ku mengharapkan semuanya dari mu .