i read this post at this guy blog . kinda copyright . hha .
in a friendship, the scenario is pretty obvious.
you will become friend with somebody
you have secretly wanted to be friends with for a long time,
and they will see just how fragile and vulnerable you are.
you will be shocked when they first start to talk to you,
you will be proud when you get to walk around with them,
you will feel so good to have somebody to talk about stuff with and
your life will be accomplished when they invite you to a first party.
but what happens if that person secretly hates,
as in jealousy,
how pure you are,
and just wants to turn you into somebody you are not?
somebody you own self would never want to be.
what if that person is just having fun manipulating you?
you will never know,
never know until it becomes obvious,
and if you are just so happy about your new friendship,
you won't notice for a while.
and the longer it will take you to notice what really is going on,
the more it will hurts.
in your back, that person and their friends will be making fun of you,
they all know what really is going on,
and they all love it.
drama.
you are a toy to them,
and for you,
all they are is that best friend you never had,
that perfect friend you always wanted to have.
that friendship will make you lose a lot be
cause you will most likely turn your back on everything
you already have to please them.
values, family, friends, projects, everything.
manipulation is part of their nature,
and unconsciousness is part of yours.
when you really find out what they have been doing to you,
you will most likely feel like you're just a nobody.
you won't hate them, you will hate yourself.
hate yourself for being such a loser, or at least,
you'll think you're the worst loser.
in a relationship, the scenario is pretty similar,
but it always end up hurting more in the end for some reasons.
you will fall for that rather attractive person
who just seem so perfect, outside like inside.
you won't get to know them, no,
here we are talking about love at first sight.
the whole relationship, if you can even call it that way,
will be based on your infatuation for that person,
and how useful you might be for that person.
as soon as they will notice how hard you fell for them,
how easy it is to just play around with your heart,
they will play that lovely game where they act as if
they're just so in love with you.
they will act like the best person to be in a relationship with, ever.
they will give you everything you want,
and tell you everything you want to hear from them.
when written down, everything sounds just so obvious,
but because you are just so in love with that person,
it is not obvious, it won't be for a while,
it might not even be at all until that person totally screw you over.
if you have just a bit of luck,
they won't have affairs with other people
while they are supposedly with you.
they will take time to enjoy using you,
and nobody else at the same time.
in this case, it is generally quicker.
they will get over you fast,
and you will become boring to them in a few weeks, if not a few days.
if they do have affairs with other people at the same time,
they will keep you, or them on hold,
and find out which one of you is the best deal.
what do they use you for you wonder?
for their personal satisfaction.
they're the most selfish people.
they will take away from you those things you do have and that they don't.
if you're attractive, they will have a blast in bed with you.
if you have a fuck load of money,
they'll always try to take advantage of that.
depending on how much of a jerk that person might be,
they can make fun of what they're doing to you with their friends,
and you might eventually get to hear about it somehow,
but you won't want to believe it because you are so desesperatly in love.
then you will hear it again, and some doubts will start haunting you.
it will drive you crazy, it's all you will be thinking about.
can that person really be that horrible?
can somebody really be that fucked up in their head?
questions. questions. they will follow ones after the other.
one day, you will wake up and know you're alone, and you have always been.
those sweet things that person told you seem so obviously wrong to you now.
you feel dumb. you feel stupid.
you don't blame anybody else but yourself,
and that is the saddest part.
you won't blame that person for being so selfish, ignorant,
and for being much of a manipulator.
you will blame you.
why was i stupid enough to believe in this whole thing you will ask yourself.
then your self-confidence will be hurt.
the last thing you will end up doing is to hate that person,
and if you really are stupid as you have been calling yourself,
you will still love that person,
however bad they've hurt you.
no matter what they possibly could have told their beloved friends about you.
in both those scenarios, the friendship and the relationship,
the one that will end up hurting you the most is the relationship one.
yes, we all heard how friends are forever and relationships never last.
let's be honest, friends aren't forever.
but what will you be more sad about?
being fooled by a friend?
or being terribly in love with somebody who has been fooling you?
i told satria eveything .
everything .
i said i still love amin .
and he understood .
but still my heart is aching .
i'll try the very best to love him .
i think i start to like him .
bleahh .
me and nisa are getting fine .
efa , gave me some hope .
each day its a new experience for me .
people make mistakes .
so forgive and forget .
there's a point in your life .
when you get tired of chasing everyone and
trying to fix everything ,
but its not giving up .
its realising you dont need certain people .
and amin is one of them .
but i dont know why i still love him .
maybe that 9 months with him ?
ouh , i wish i was in the past .
and those memories could last .
but every start has an end .
late at the night when all the world is sleeping ,
i stay up and think of you .
and i wish on a star that
somewhere you are thinking of me too
cause im dreaming of you tonight .